5. Invasion of the Dinosaurs (1974)
Greg: “Shoot her! Shoot her!”
Sam: Who? What? Where?
Greg: Sorry, just channelling my inner Bob Peck. It happens whenever anybody mentions dinosaurs. Well, the Invasion story that was part of Pertwee’s final season was written by a disaffected former Communist (there are a lot of them about).
Doctor Who was never especially political, and Dinosaurs is hardly an advertisement for capitalism or the Tory party (but then, Ted Heath was Prime Minister at the time), but it is a scathing attack on left-wing ideology. Much the same way that lifelong socialist George Orwell excoriated the left in his final two great works. Why are you chucking it into the top five? The dinosaurs are laughable, frankly…
Sam: Well, nobody goes to Doctor Who for Hollywood effects or production values. That’s what Blake’s 7 is for. The reward is always in the writing and the perfomance isn’t it?
Greg: Exactly that – it’s a terrific tale, well-told. The polar opposite of how the new series is made! Have I knocked the remake the requisite number of times now?
Sam: Invasion of the Dinosaurs is a superlative story because it ticks almost every box for being the typical Pertwee adventure: we have UNIT – the military force commanded by dear Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart (Nicholas Courtney) – running around an eerily empty London which is overrun by dinosaurs.
Meanwhile, a party of Extinction Rebellion-type cranks are trying to wind back time whilst using the rampaging dinosaurs as a massive distraction. Looking past the pre-CGI rubber reptiles, what stands out to you here?
Greg: It gets up close and personal because loveable dishy fop Captain Yates (Richard Franklin) gets caught up and joins the Extinction Rebellion wannabees, doesn’t he? They had to cut the scene where he glued himself to a train in protest.
But we see a character we rather love being taken over by this dreadful cult. Franklin plays it rather well. The cold, smug eyes of total certainty and complete moral conviction. And this is children’s telly! Plus John Bennett, who would later memorably return in what we’d now call ‘yellowface’, is terrific as a sinister general.
Sam: I hear that performance comes with a trigger warning, these days.
Greg: Have they recalled the VHS tapes from Woolies yet? Is it worth anything on Ebay?
Sam: The Dinosaur Invasion is gravely overlooked in Doctor Who fandom because of the bad puppetry. The T-Rex is particularly disastrous; sculpted with an ill-fitting turkey neck whilst bellowing a phonetic “Roar!” and slowly ambling around with a constipated gait.
Yet, behind that aesthetic distraction, there’s this amazing polemic argument about extremism, echo chambers and genocide in the name of the common good. I recall some TV handbooks giving it measly 2/10, which makes me wonder if they totally missed the analogy?
Greg: Or didn’t want to see it…?
Sam: It’s also notable as it’s an early story for a very young Elisabeth Sladen as Sarah Jane Smith, who works beautifully opposite Pertwee. Between them, they gift the story some proper realism. Don’t forget we also have lovely guest appearances from Martin Jarvis, and Peter Miles – your go-to snide bastard of the 1970s.
I have to ask, what did you make of the whole “alternate reality” where Sarah Jane is locked away with a load of demented activists on a staged spaceship?
Greg: It was an idea they recycled for a documentary series in 2005 where they persuaded some gullible no-hopers that they were astronauts blasting off into space, when in fact they never left earth.
It’s all about the power of persuasion, isn’t it, and not questioning authority, and toeing the party line. We hear that immortal phrase beloved of the hard left, “You mustn’t say such things,” which also means one mustn’t think such things. He looks curiously like someone in the public eye, that fella. Can’t put my finger on it…
Sam: Oh the condescending group leader with a trendy grey beard and a mob of acolytes? Yes. More than a passing resemblance to that benevolent Jeremy Corbyn, I’d say. Whatever happened to him?
Greg: I don’t know where he is but I hope he’s very happy.
Sam: I like how Sarah calmly insists: “I’ll say whatever I like.” Then they send her to The Reminder Room, where she’s exposed to hours of Green propaganda. It’s fascinating; writing from 1973, speaking directly to 2021. And this, from the pen of a former member of the Communist Party of Great Britain!
Greg: Well, it takes an insider to know how to dramatically bring this stuff alive. Once the scales fall from writers’ eyes, they often find they have the motherlode of material. It’s terrific stuff from Mac Hulke, I just wish people understood it a bit better, but that’s sadly a failing of the education system and its rather partisan view of twentieth century history.
Sam: Oof.
Greg: Inescapably though, the dinosaurs are embarrassingly bad. It’s the sort of thing where you’d wince or fast-forward if your dad walked in whilst you were watching it. I can’t think of a single worse effect in all of colour Doctor Who. But what a great story.
Sam: Perhaps the dinosaurs are a metaphor for a political ideology on the edge of extinction? It’s interesting how radicals end up eating their own alive in this way. Survival of the fittest in a dino-eat-dino world.
The Operation Golden Age party is more than happy to wipe out most of the human race for the greater good of the planet and a select number of acolytes. It’s the sheer mewing smugness and self-regard of the “enlightened” elites on the spacecraft that struck a chord with me. And they’re so risk-averse and feeble they won’t even try opening a door to escape. This is heavy, relevant stuff…
Greg: Wasn’t it beloved national treasure Eric Hobsbawm who said something to the effect that it would be better millions more had died so long as the Communist utopia had been achieved? I bet he didn’t enjoy Invasion of the Dinosaurs.
I hope lots of young Doctor Who fans watch it. And pay attention. I think you’re right about the metaphor, but I’d never spotted it before! It’s certainly a story that always gets us talking, and is incredibly, painfully relevant in 2021. But it’s not quite in the top four. There’s loads of great stuff still to come!
Sam: That’s right, and the big ecological argument is made in our fourth slot. It’s time to go green in The One With The Giant Maggots!
