Martin (Jamie Effros) returns from New York to his family home in Cape Cod following the death of his father Kenneth. The two men had drifted apart since the death of Martin’s mother, which prompted Kenneth to come out as gay and move in Ted (Norbert Leo Butz), his gardener and younger lover. Grieving for his father, Martin decides to sell the family home, where Ted is currently living, causing the two men to butt heads. As the tensions rise, Martin and Ted are forced to get to know one another and understand how they both fit into Kenneth’s life.
Co-written by lead star Jamie Effros, ‘Give or Take’ is a touching exploration of grief showing the effect that death has on two very different men. For Martin, it’s a reminder of the break down in relationship he had with Kenneth that he can now never repair. Having Ted in the family home is a painful reminder of the time that passed and the anger Martin has carried while feeling he never knew his father. For Ted, he’s lost the love of his life and now faces losing his home as Martin decides to put it on the market regardless of how Ted feels about that.
As Martin and Ted clash with one another, the film peels back the layers of both men so that the audience can understand where they’re coming from. Martin clearly has regrets about some of his life choices, including a missed opportunity for romance with childhood friend Emma (Joanne Tucker). You get the feeling he moved to New York to run away from his problems rather than to establish a meaningful life for himself, and that’s even more evident in the interactions he has over the phone with his girlfriend.
Ted on the other hand is consumed with anger that Kenneth has been taken away from him and the stability he had in life has now gone. Turning to drink to drown his sorrows, Ted is clearly struggling but Martin’s inability to understand, or empathise with, that becomes a source of conflict for the two.
Norbert Leo Butz is without a doubt the star of the show here. He allows himself to completely embody Ted, giving the audience a warts-and-all portrayal of a man in severe grief. Butz is always a bright light in any film he’s in (and after all he is a Tony Award winner), but here he is the character that you sympathise with. Jamie Effros is good too as Martin, delicately bringing to the fore the conflict he felt about his father and the difficulty he’s had accepting that his father wasn’t the man he thought he was.
‘Give or Take’ is a compelling study of grief. I feel it could have gone further in some places and really explored the conflict between Martin and Ted. For the most part it digs deep enough to satisfy the audience but I felt like there was more that could have been explored. Perhaps even seeing Kenneth and getting a glimpse into the life he had might have helped really bring his loss home to the audience. As it is, ‘Give or Take’ is a perfectly watchable film anchored by strong performances and an emotional through line that is likely to connect with whoever watches it.
Cast: Norbert Leo Butz, Jamie Effros, Joanne Tucker, Louis Cancelmi, Cheri Oteri Director: Paul Riccio Writers: Paul Riccio & Jamie Effros Certificate: Unrated Duration: 105 mins Released by: Breaking Glass Pictures Release date: 11th February (Theatrical), 22nd February (DVD & Digital)
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