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Table Manners review

Swipe right for the brand new NON-VR crazy physics-based dating simulator.

Table Manners
Credit: Echo Chamber Games / Curve Digital

Ah, yes. Love is in the air. My favourite time of the year approaches and in all my Hallmark-constructed glory, I revel. It’s a time for cards, chocolates, cherubs and cheekiness. How best to celebrate then on a date, you say! Fantastic idea, reader, however my partner and I usually stay in as they are an ace chef and I find it better value to neck a bottle of wine at home whilst playing video games in a sloppy state… and this year I have the perfect game to take that sloppiness over the top though: Table Manners.

Having come straight off of my hospital rounds with Surgeon Simulator, my disembodied hands yearn for more meaningful tasks of the heart. Sure, saving people is cool and all, but where is my knight in shining armour? Table Manners scoops you into the world of ‘swipe left, or swipe right’ dating–people looking for love in the same places you are, hoping to meet their match. First impressions are everything, and it’s up to you to impress them for the chance they might wish to see you for a second date. It’s not totally straightforward though…

Watch the Table Manners – Steam date reveal trailer below:

Absolutely, 100% not in VR, this romantic adventure is rigged to the hilt with physics-based shenanigans. Working with a purposefully hectic control scheme, you’re in charge of picking up drinks, pouring them, giving your date a cheeky taste of what’s on your plate and generally running the show as a floating hand with feeding authority. Time is money however, and keeping your date waiting simply won’t do. Combined with time sensitive requests and the hand dexterity of someone living in a blender turned on its highest setting, the challenge to keep the potential person of your dreams happy becomes quite hard work.

What usually ends up happening is me grabbing the ketchup bottle in a panic and either A) dumping the ketchup itself all over the table, or B) throwing the bottle on the floor like the absolute sandwich I am. Unintentional mayhem inevitably will ensue, but the laughs will get louder–Table Manners combines the right amount of absurdity and setting to make this ridiculous scenario a great time. If you manage to complete a successful date (defined by the person not leaving in a huff), then first of all congratulations to you! Second, it’s time to keep the courting going. Tasks get ever crazier, designed to frazzle, but hilarious enough to keep it fun.

View some Table Manners screenshots in our gallery:

There’s a fair bit of variety with the levels, tasks and extras themselves, making Table Manners more than just an average physics nightmare. If you have issues with flipping desks or throwing controllers, this one might not be for you. If you managed to do a triple lung transplant and sew the scalpel successfully into the patient, having what Imaginary PC Magazine quoted as, “Fingers any keyboard or mouse would shed a tear to have itself graced upon”, then heck, pop this on your wishlist and get ready for a wonderful night out on the town.

And never, ever forget my friends: candy is half off on the 15th. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Table Manners was reviewed using a digital code provided by the publisher.

Publisher: Curve Digital Developer: Echo Chamber Games Release Date: 14th February 2020 Reviewed On: PC/Steam

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